Most of us have made and broken more than one New Year resolution. Much of our lack of success in fulfilling our resolution stems from a lack of planning and goal setting.
If you speak to the manager of a gym, that manager will almost always tell you that business peaks in January and falls off sharply within one month. That is because so many people resolve to lose weight and get into shape yet never follow-up on their objectives.
There is a well known study conducted by Harvard business school in 1979. The students were asked if they had clear, written goals. Only three percent of the students had written goals and only thirteen percent had any goals at all. Ten years later the students were once again interviewed. The students who had goals were earning twice as much as those who had no goals. Those who had written down specific goals earned a whopping ten times more than their classmates. (From the book What they don’t teach you at Harvard Business School by Mark McCormack).
Setting a New Year's resolution without being very specfific and writing down your goal is an exercise in futility. And that's where most of us fail. Here's what you need to do in order to succeed.
1) Select a goal (resolution) that is important to you. If you are not sold on the idea, you will fail. Be very specific. "I'm going to lose weight" is not a goal. "I'm going to lose 30 pounds by July 1, 2012" is a goal.
2) Next determine if your goal is achievable. If it is not, cut back on your expectations.
3) Set a time frame for your goal. Break it down into steps. How do you plan to achieve your goal.
4) Expect setbacks. They most likely will occur along the way. If you are ready for them then you will be better able to overcome them and continue on with your resolution.
5) Imagine yourself as if you have already achieved the goal. This must be done every morning and every night.
6) Evaluate your progress along the way. You may have to adjust your expectations or your time frame for achievement.
Good luck and happy resolution setting!
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Sarah Palin Sticks Foot in Mouth Again
Sarah Palin is proving to be much more of a liability than an asset to political conservatives, and particularly the Tea Party movement. Her comments regarding the tragedy in Tucson, Arizona just added more fuel to the fire.
Her words were more inflammatory than conciliatory. That seems to be the standard for her these days. Politicians on both sides have called for a more humane dialogue. It seems as if Mrs. Palin wasn't listening. I don't know who advises Mrs. Palin or who writes her speeches but she certainly needs to make a change. At this point her viability as a Presidential candidate in 2012 is becoming less promising. The more she opens her mouth the deeper she sinks.
Had I written her speech it would have went something like this:
We are all saddened by the tragic events in Tucson this past Saturday in which a deranged man felt the need to snuff out the lives of innocent people who were exercising their rights as free Americans. In the days which followed there were some who sought to displace the blame on me. That, in part, was due to the heated political climate during the past elections.
Politicians and supporters on both sides were involved in heated exchanges before, during, and after the campaigns. In retrospect, I too may have used words which were not in good taste. It is true that words coming the mouths and keyboards of those considered to be leaders in the nation may incite anger and contempt. However; this was the act of a very sick person whom I feel needed no words to motive him to perform such an atrocious act.
The heated exchanges have been coming from all sides of the political spectrum. That is why, in the aftermath of this tragedy, all need to take a step back and re-evaluate how we express ourselves.
I may have been guilty of poor taste in choosing my images and words but I am not guilty of murder. But I am not the only one who is guilty.
This is a time to mourn. It is a time for healing. It is a time to reflect on how we can best express our differences without inciting anger. It is not the time to start placing blame on others. Those who have taken this opportunity to place blame on myself are just as misguided as those of us who may have used terminology which we now regret.
My heart and prayers go out to the victims and families of this senseless and brutal act. And I hope that somewhere in the darkness of this event we can all learn a lesson which will bring a ray of light into our political process.
Her words were more inflammatory than conciliatory. That seems to be the standard for her these days. Politicians on both sides have called for a more humane dialogue. It seems as if Mrs. Palin wasn't listening. I don't know who advises Mrs. Palin or who writes her speeches but she certainly needs to make a change. At this point her viability as a Presidential candidate in 2012 is becoming less promising. The more she opens her mouth the deeper she sinks.
Had I written her speech it would have went something like this:
We are all saddened by the tragic events in Tucson this past Saturday in which a deranged man felt the need to snuff out the lives of innocent people who were exercising their rights as free Americans. In the days which followed there were some who sought to displace the blame on me. That, in part, was due to the heated political climate during the past elections.
Politicians and supporters on both sides were involved in heated exchanges before, during, and after the campaigns. In retrospect, I too may have used words which were not in good taste. It is true that words coming the mouths and keyboards of those considered to be leaders in the nation may incite anger and contempt. However; this was the act of a very sick person whom I feel needed no words to motive him to perform such an atrocious act.
The heated exchanges have been coming from all sides of the political spectrum. That is why, in the aftermath of this tragedy, all need to take a step back and re-evaluate how we express ourselves.
I may have been guilty of poor taste in choosing my images and words but I am not guilty of murder. But I am not the only one who is guilty.
This is a time to mourn. It is a time for healing. It is a time to reflect on how we can best express our differences without inciting anger. It is not the time to start placing blame on others. Those who have taken this opportunity to place blame on myself are just as misguided as those of us who may have used terminology which we now regret.
My heart and prayers go out to the victims and families of this senseless and brutal act. And I hope that somewhere in the darkness of this event we can all learn a lesson which will bring a ray of light into our political process.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Death Hath No Sting
Over the years I have cared for hundreds of people facing death. Many had lived their earthly lives the way they had chosen. More than a majority of those who knew ahead of time they were dying confessed to me they wish they had their lives to live over again. Almost all have shown fear and doubt at one time during the dying process.
Many of those for whom I have taken care of were professed Christians. Some were pastors and priests. Most all had some regrets.
"I wish I had spent more time with my family". "I wish I had not been so focused on myself". "If only I had given more time and effort to helping others". " I wish I had .... or I wish I had not ...". These are just a few of many remorseful statements I have heard over the years. I have rarely heard; "I am totally satisfied with the way I have lived my life and I'm ready to go".
The one thing which has had such an impact on my understanding of death is the fear I've seen in the eyes of some of the most active churchgoers in the Christian faith. Many of these folks have spent much of their adult lives going to church and practicing the rituals of church attendance and the superficial observance of Christ's commands.
One which especially sticks out in my mind is the case of a very well known and popular pastor of a large church. If I told you his name, you most likely would recognize it immediately. He was on television every Sunday delivering Christ centered discourses to his congregation. I was assigned to care for him one night when he had just learned that he would die within days and there was nothing medicine could do to help him.
I could tell he was very anxious. Initially I thought he was concerned about leaving his family behind. I started our conversation with; "You're having a tough time tonight. Are you hurting?" He responded; "Yes; but not physically". I sat down in a chair beside his bed and said; "Are you worried about how your family will do when you leave?"
His answer threw me for a loop: "No. I'm worried about where I'll be when I leave."
I replied: "Pastor, you know where you will be. We know where you will be".
He then said; "I'm not so sure: Because I enjoyed speaking in the pulpit. I enjoyed the applause. I enjoyed the power that came with being a pastor of a large church. But I didn't follow my own admonitions to the congregation. I'm not even certain there is a heaven or a a hell. I taught it because that was expected of me. Now I have to face that doubt and I'm not ready."
I was at a loss for words at that point. I administered a medication to help him sleep. That was the last conversation I had with him and the last time I saw him alive.
Then there was my dear friend Donald McGalliard. I didn't have the opportunity to care for Donald but he was my best friend over the years. Donald wasn't particularly active in a church. He didn't spend his time preaching or expounding on Gospel principles. Yet; he knew Christ. He followed the command - "Love thy neighbor as thyself". My last conversation with Donald was just a couple of days before he died. He knew he was dying. He had absolutely no regrets and told me he knew he would be in heaven soon. He told me he prayed every single day; not for himself so much as for others. There was no fear in his voice. There was no remorse for his life. He wasn't perfect and he knew it. But; he also that knew his life, as imperfect as it was, postitively affected all those he knew. I told him; "Donald, I'm proud to call you a friend and a brother". His reply was simple; "Thank you, Steve".
"Thank you Steve" was the last words I heard out of his voice. The one thing I have learned in my short life is that it's easy to quote Gospel principles. It's easy to memorize Bible verses. It's much more difficult to understand them in context and live them on a day to day basis. We get our feelings hurt and dwell way too long on other's faults. Don would simply say; "Hope you have a great day". I cannot count the number of "great days" Don had wished me personally. But I can count the number of times I went to Facebook just to look for one of those special messages from Don. It was pretty much every single day.
We can follow Christ's command to preach the Gospel; but living it on a day to day basis becomes much more of a challenge. If I am fortunate enough to know the day that I'm leaving this earth I want to be able to say as my good friend Donald did; "I'm ready".
God Bless you all and I hope none of us will have to face the fear of that pastor during the last days of our lives. My wish is that we can say as Paul said in 2nd Timothy: "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
Many of those for whom I have taken care of were professed Christians. Some were pastors and priests. Most all had some regrets.
"I wish I had spent more time with my family". "I wish I had not been so focused on myself". "If only I had given more time and effort to helping others". " I wish I had .... or I wish I had not ...". These are just a few of many remorseful statements I have heard over the years. I have rarely heard; "I am totally satisfied with the way I have lived my life and I'm ready to go".
The one thing which has had such an impact on my understanding of death is the fear I've seen in the eyes of some of the most active churchgoers in the Christian faith. Many of these folks have spent much of their adult lives going to church and practicing the rituals of church attendance and the superficial observance of Christ's commands.
One which especially sticks out in my mind is the case of a very well known and popular pastor of a large church. If I told you his name, you most likely would recognize it immediately. He was on television every Sunday delivering Christ centered discourses to his congregation. I was assigned to care for him one night when he had just learned that he would die within days and there was nothing medicine could do to help him.
I could tell he was very anxious. Initially I thought he was concerned about leaving his family behind. I started our conversation with; "You're having a tough time tonight. Are you hurting?" He responded; "Yes; but not physically". I sat down in a chair beside his bed and said; "Are you worried about how your family will do when you leave?"
His answer threw me for a loop: "No. I'm worried about where I'll be when I leave."
I replied: "Pastor, you know where you will be. We know where you will be".
He then said; "I'm not so sure: Because I enjoyed speaking in the pulpit. I enjoyed the applause. I enjoyed the power that came with being a pastor of a large church. But I didn't follow my own admonitions to the congregation. I'm not even certain there is a heaven or a a hell. I taught it because that was expected of me. Now I have to face that doubt and I'm not ready."
I was at a loss for words at that point. I administered a medication to help him sleep. That was the last conversation I had with him and the last time I saw him alive.
Then there was my dear friend Donald McGalliard. I didn't have the opportunity to care for Donald but he was my best friend over the years. Donald wasn't particularly active in a church. He didn't spend his time preaching or expounding on Gospel principles. Yet; he knew Christ. He followed the command - "Love thy neighbor as thyself". My last conversation with Donald was just a couple of days before he died. He knew he was dying. He had absolutely no regrets and told me he knew he would be in heaven soon. He told me he prayed every single day; not for himself so much as for others. There was no fear in his voice. There was no remorse for his life. He wasn't perfect and he knew it. But; he also that knew his life, as imperfect as it was, postitively affected all those he knew. I told him; "Donald, I'm proud to call you a friend and a brother". His reply was simple; "Thank you, Steve".
"Thank you Steve" was the last words I heard out of his voice. The one thing I have learned in my short life is that it's easy to quote Gospel principles. It's easy to memorize Bible verses. It's much more difficult to understand them in context and live them on a day to day basis. We get our feelings hurt and dwell way too long on other's faults. Don would simply say; "Hope you have a great day". I cannot count the number of "great days" Don had wished me personally. But I can count the number of times I went to Facebook just to look for one of those special messages from Don. It was pretty much every single day.
We can follow Christ's command to preach the Gospel; but living it on a day to day basis becomes much more of a challenge. If I am fortunate enough to know the day that I'm leaving this earth I want to be able to say as my good friend Donald did; "I'm ready".
God Bless you all and I hope none of us will have to face the fear of that pastor during the last days of our lives. My wish is that we can say as Paul said in 2nd Timothy: "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
The Vietnam War Continues to take its Toll
There are 58,195 names listed on the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, D.C.. What isn't listed are the untold number of American casualties which resulted from the use of Agent Orange. Those vets will not be listed as wounded or killed in action; yet they are nonetheless casualties of war.
My good friend Donald Gary McGalliard succomed on December 28, 2010 from illnesses he suffered as a result of exposure to agent orange. He never allowed his pain and suffering to make him regret his service in the United States Marine Corps or in Vietnam.
Donald served with the 3rd Battalion, 9th Marines in Cu Chi, Vietnam. His unit was singled out by North Vietnam as one which had to be destroyed. They survived the enemy onslaught with valor. Yet; many of those Marines became victims of our own military war strategy to use agent orange to defoliate jungles around major U.S. military strongholds.
Donald and I were like brothers. We have known one another and have been best of friends since I was 13 years old. When Donald joined the Marines, I had to join. When Donald went to Vietnam, I had to go. Donald's unit was singled out for destruction in 1967. My unit was singled out for destruction in 1969. Donald married my girl friend's best friend. That didn't work out. I married my girl friend's sister. That didn't work out. Donald then married a wonderful woman who stuck with him throughout the remainder of his life. I then married a wonderful woman who is still with me. Our lives paralled one another. Except for one thing ... Donald's exposure to agent orange which eventually took his life. I served in Vietnam with the Marines but was rarely in an area which was sprayed.
I don't know how many Vietnam veterans have died as a direct effect of agent orange but I do know of one; and that is one too many. Donald was not only brave in war. He was a sincerely good person who never allowed himself to feel sorry about his bad luck. There are hundreds of people who miss him dearly. Semper Fi Big Don and save a place for me. I always was one step behind you.
My good friend Donald Gary McGalliard succomed on December 28, 2010 from illnesses he suffered as a result of exposure to agent orange. He never allowed his pain and suffering to make him regret his service in the United States Marine Corps or in Vietnam.
Donald served with the 3rd Battalion, 9th Marines in Cu Chi, Vietnam. His unit was singled out by North Vietnam as one which had to be destroyed. They survived the enemy onslaught with valor. Yet; many of those Marines became victims of our own military war strategy to use agent orange to defoliate jungles around major U.S. military strongholds.
Donald and I were like brothers. We have known one another and have been best of friends since I was 13 years old. When Donald joined the Marines, I had to join. When Donald went to Vietnam, I had to go. Donald's unit was singled out for destruction in 1967. My unit was singled out for destruction in 1969. Donald married my girl friend's best friend. That didn't work out. I married my girl friend's sister. That didn't work out. Donald then married a wonderful woman who stuck with him throughout the remainder of his life. I then married a wonderful woman who is still with me. Our lives paralled one another. Except for one thing ... Donald's exposure to agent orange which eventually took his life. I served in Vietnam with the Marines but was rarely in an area which was sprayed.
I don't know how many Vietnam veterans have died as a direct effect of agent orange but I do know of one; and that is one too many. Donald was not only brave in war. He was a sincerely good person who never allowed himself to feel sorry about his bad luck. There are hundreds of people who miss him dearly. Semper Fi Big Don and save a place for me. I always was one step behind you.
The Homeless Man with the Golden Voice
Just days ago ted Williams was on the streets of Columbus, Ohio panhandling for money. Then Columbus Dispatch videographer Doral Chenoweth III asked Mr. Williams to prove his voice on video. The rest is history. as the video went viral, Ted Williams became a world celebrity.
It wasn't that Mr. Williams had not had the same opportunity in the past. He is a trained radio announcer who forfeited his career for drugs and alcohol. He has a rap sheet a mile long. The miracle is not as much in Mr. Williams' voice as it is that he now has a second chance to get his life back on track.
Just how was it that a video of less than 2 minutes could create such a sensation? It wasn't the original post which went off of the charts. An unauthorized copy of the video was posted on Youtube. The original video was posted on the Columbus Dispatch home page.
A YouTube user called "Ritchey" posted it on Youtube with the message, "Throwing this video from The Columbus Dispatch out there, hoping we can find this talent a place to call home." It was a post on Gawker.com that sent the video and Ted Williams into orbit around the world. Once the video went viral, Ritchey's video post disappeared from Youtube!
So; what made this video so popular? No one really knows. Most likely, it was the sight of a homeless man on the street and hearing that voice of gold which touched so many. What has happened to Mr. Williams is a miracle. What he does with it is entirely up to him.
It wasn't that Mr. Williams had not had the same opportunity in the past. He is a trained radio announcer who forfeited his career for drugs and alcohol. He has a rap sheet a mile long. The miracle is not as much in Mr. Williams' voice as it is that he now has a second chance to get his life back on track.
Just how was it that a video of less than 2 minutes could create such a sensation? It wasn't the original post which went off of the charts. An unauthorized copy of the video was posted on Youtube. The original video was posted on the Columbus Dispatch home page.
A YouTube user called "Ritchey" posted it on Youtube with the message, "Throwing this video from The Columbus Dispatch out there, hoping we can find this talent a place to call home." It was a post on Gawker.com that sent the video and Ted Williams into orbit around the world. Once the video went viral, Ritchey's video post disappeared from Youtube!
So; what made this video so popular? No one really knows. Most likely, it was the sight of a homeless man on the street and hearing that voice of gold which touched so many. What has happened to Mr. Williams is a miracle. What he does with it is entirely up to him.
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